I Left my Heart in Seattle
by Heather98
Summary: post 4.11- Derek leaves Seattle after his fight with Meredith about him kisses Rose. Will he return and to what?
1. Chapter 1

Meredith POV

It has been a month since Derek left. He kissed Rose in a scrub room and told me after I told him that I was ready to settle down with him and start to expand our relationship.

Now…now I'm alone staring out my window at the pouring rain wishing that things were different not just for me, but for my unborn child.

Yes you heard right. Today I found out that I'm pregnant. I went to see Addison's replacement at the hospital and found out that I'm two months pregnant with the love of my life child. Now it's just finding the courage to tell my friends, co workers and Derek.

The next morning Meredith woke to the sun shining thru the gleaming wet window of her bedroom. Stretching her tired limbs over her head and arched her back like a little kitten waking from its nap. Then all of a sudden her hand shot to her mouth and to her stomach over her child. Meredith ran as fast as she could until she reached her bathroom and vomited in the toilet within minutes.

"MEREDITH GET MOVING OR WE'LL BE LATER!" Izzie yelled from down stairs

Lifting her head from the toilet Meredith rolled her eyes then rested her head against the wall behind her and took a deep breath.

"I can do this." She whispered to nobody. She stood and walked the few feet to the sick and splashed cold water on her face. Taking one last breath she walked back to her bedroom and got dressed for the day.


	2. Chapter 2

At the hospital the residents met up in their locker room. All holding a steaming cup of hot coffee. All accept one.

Meredith watched as the others took long sips from their cups and she watched on wishing that she could have a cup to help wake her up for her long shift that she had in front of her.

"What's wrong with you?" Christina asked seating down next to Meredith on the bench.

It's now or never Meredith thought to herself as she took a long breath.

"I'm Pregnant"

All the residents looked over at her with their mouths wide open.

"You're kidding right?" Alex gave a small laugh thinking that she was joking.

Meredith looked down at the ground and shook her head. "I found out yesterday." Tears started to stream down her cheeks. "I'm pregnant with Derek's child and he's not here." She wiped the tears with the back of her sleeve.

Christina hesitated at first not knowing what to say. Then she said what first came to her head.

"I guess you win the 'whose life sucks more' game."

Meredith laughed and cried at the same time.

"Are you going to contact Derek about this?" Izzie asked taking the seat on the other side of Meredith and rubbed her hand up and down Meredith's back.

Meredith nodded. She took out her cell and dialed Derek's cell number that she new by heart. It rang once then Meredith heard a recording.

"The number that you are trying to reach has been disconnected."

Meredith looked down and shut the phone.

"Did you get his machine?" Izzie asked when she noticed that she ended her call so fast.

:"The number's been cancelled. I guess he didn't want me to call him." Meredith said.

"Oh Mer." Izzie said laying her hand on her shoulder for comfort.

"Hey why don't you ask the chief or Sloan where his at and how to get in touch with him?" Alex asked crossing his arms in front of him and lend against a locker.

"I guess that's the only way." Meredith said getting up off the bench to leave and find Mark Sloan.

Mark Sloan was standing in front of the nurses' station like always flirting with any and every single nurse that is around. Meredith shook her head at the sight in front of her.

'Same old Mark'

Coming up behind him she tapped him on the shoulder. Mark turned and noticed her.

"You on my service today Grey?"

"Not exactly." She saw that the nurses that he was talking to were watching closely. The last thing that Meredith wanted was to get this out in the open around the hospital. "Can we talk somewhere else?"

"Sure, follow me"

They walked to an empty room and closed the door. "What can I do for you Grey?"

""I was wondering if you have kept in contact with Derek since he left?"

Mark looked down shaking his head and sat down at the edge of the bed. "Derek and I haven't been close still since the whole thing with Addison. Besides I called the same day I found out about him missing. His numbers been disconnected."

"I Know I tried his cell already. Is there some place that you can think that he would go?"

Mark thought for a few moments then shook his head no. "Why do you need to know so badly where he is? Haven't you hurt him enough?"

Meredith looked at him. "I never met to hurt him. I just wasn't ready to move to the next step with him because I had trust issues with him. I mean he never told me about being married. Then he's picking girls up in bars and kissing nurses in scrub rooms." She paused and looked down at her stomach where she and Derek's unborn child rested. "I need to find him so I can tell him…" She could finish because she was fighting tears from releasing.

"Tell him what?" Mark asked

"I'm pregnant with his child."

Mark rubbed his hair with his hand and breathed deeply. "Man this sucks." Mark stood and walked over to Meredith and placed a comforting hand on her shoulder. "I wish I knew where he was or how to reach him but I don't."

Holding back tears she asked. "Do you think…Do you think that he will come back?" Afraid of what he might say.

Mark frowned. "I don't think so." Mark pulled out a piece of paper from his coat pocket and opened it to show her what it said. "I found this in the paper this morning."

Meredith took the paper and read it. She couldn't keep from crying.

It was a for sale article of Derek's beloved land. Derek was selling his land. The land that both she and Derek loved so much and the land that she wished she could show to her child. Meredith looked at it for a while then got an idea.

"Can I borrow this for a minute?"

"Sure why?"

Meredith gave him a sad smile. "If I can't have Derek then I'll have something to remember him by." With that she left the room and headed to call the real state lady.


	3. Chapter 3

TEN MONTHS LATER- MEREDITH'S POV

The past ten months have been overwhelming to say the least. I bought Derek's land and built the home that he had wanted for us on it overlooking the lake.

Christina thinks that I'm nuts for building something so big when there is just me and my little girl Emma. That's right. I had a beautiful baby girl last month. Her name is Emma Grace Sheppard. Emma has my hair but the rest is pure Derek.

After my talk with Mark, I bought Derek's land without making any contact with him during the process. Derek's real estate agent took care of all the work. When it was over I paid Derek for the land and he never knew it was me. Right after I signed the papers I hired men to move the trailer further back on the land to make room for the new house. I didn't have the heart to get reed of it. It has too much history. Just a week before I gave birth, the house was done and ready to be moved into.

My moving day was spent with my supervising as Christina, Izzie, George, Alex, Bailey and her husband, Chief Webber, and Mark moved all of the furniture into the house. Since I was on maternity leave, I had the week to unpack and get things ready for the baby.

My life was coming into place…Well almost. As I watch Emma, I can't help but wish that Derek was here to see Emma grow and share the life and future that he had wanted together. But he ran. I still haven't heard a word from him since our fight that finished our relationship for good.

If I was able to go back in time and tell my past self that I would be building a house, have a baby, and driving a minivan that I swore I was too so I wouldn't have one, then I wouldn't believe it.

In a couple of weeks I will be returning to work and Emma will be placed in the hospital daycare during the day. Luckily I have "my family" to help be with Emma during the time I'm working late or am on-call. I'm going to prove to my dead mother and to myself that I can do this. I can have a daughter that I won't treat like my mother treated me. I'll also make sure that I'm home more and not put work ahead of my family.

Mark has been great since our talk. He even has gone as far as leaving his one night stand in the middle of the night to get me food that I craved. I'm sure he feels sorry for the fact that Derek his brother wasn't her for me while carrying his child.

I finally realized that I'm not alone…I was never alone. I have my family.


	4. Chapter 4

Derek's POV

After I left Seattle I headed back to New York. I missed by family desperately, but I also did not miss the bad memories that I have of Addison and Mark. My family had been very pushy to say the least when it came to my marriage ending with Addison. By the way that my family acted when I got home, I can only guess that Nancy hadn't told them about Addison cheating on me with Mark. When I told them what Addison had told me about how she had lived and stayed with Mark for months after I left they were more supportive.

The day I left Seattle, the place I once called home, I put my land that I loved up for sell. I never thought I would ever put it up for sell ever. But there is no point in keeping it when I will never use it again. It only took a couple days after leaving to sell the land. I had a call from my real estate agent to tell me that he had sold the land to an unknown person that also wanted the trailer. This just proved that the Seattle chapter of my life is now completely over.

There are times that I wish that Mark and I was closer again. Sometimes I want to call Mark and ask him how my Meredith is…well not MY Meredith again. By now she probably found a new person to give her what she wants …or not want. I wish things had turned out differently that what they did. I miss Meredith so much.

I'm starting to get my life to where I want it to be. That was until Seattle found me again…

(Earlier that same day)

"Derek you have no idea how hard it has been for Dr. Richard Webber has been trying to track you done." Chief Scotts said as he caught up to his neurosurgeon as he was walking towards his surgery that was scheduled.

Derek stopped in his tracks at the name. "Why?" was all he could ask.

"He needs you for a consult in Seattle."

"Can't he find someone else to do what he needs?" Derek started to argue with his chief.

"The patient is the city's mayor. Richard wants the best and you…my friend are the best." He patted his back as he said this. "Besides it will only take a few days tops and you can be back here before you know it."

"Yeah" Derek said sarcastically.

"Do you not like the rain?"

"It's not that. I don't like my past there."

"Well sometimes it's better to face your past then to run from it Shep."

"Yeah I guess. When do I leave?"

"First thing in the morning."

Derek nodded his head and left for his surgery.

'This was just great.' He thought. 'Just when I thought I would be able to start moving on I have to go back and see the love of my life again.' He stated to wash his hands and arms for surgery. 'Seeing her again is going to be difficult. What happens if she has moved on with her life with a new man?' He thought again. Shaking his head he took off into the OR for a long six hour surgery. 'Tomorrow I'm off to face history. This is just fine.'


	5. Chapter 5

(The Next Morning) DEREK's POV

Derek's plane pulled up to the Seattle terminal a few minutes ahead of schedule. He got his bags and headed for the rental car place to get a vehicle for the next few days. As he got in the car, he headed to his hotel and checked in. When he dropped his bags off he left to go to the hospital to see Chief Webber and the patient. As he walked to the entrance he looked up at the words on the side of the building. 'Seattle Grace Hospital'.

"I never thought I would be here again." Derek started to walk into the building and headed straight to the chiefs office. He knew the way well. As he walked he watched out for Meredith and any of her friends. With a clear way, he reached the office without being seen by anyone he knew.

Derek knocked and heard the chief yell for whom ever to come inside.

"Oh Derek. Welcome back."

Derek shook the chief's hand and sat down. "I'm not back, I'm only here for the case then I'm on the next plane back."

Webber watched him closely thru silted eyes. He loved Meredith like a daughter and he only wanted her happy. Even if he just wanted to kick Derek's butt from here to the moon. "Okay…" he handed him a file. "Your patients name is…."

Webber went on about the patient neither knowing that right outside the office stood Christina and Mark with their ears up against the wood door.

"What are they saying?" Christina asked trying to lean further into the door.

"Well if you shut up we can hear." Mark said above her.

Just then the door open and Christina and Mark fell forward onto the ground. They looked up into the confused eyes of Derek and the chief.

"Dr. Yang…Dr. Sloan." The Chief said to them.

"Chief…Ass" they both said together.


	6. Chapter 6

After the encounter at the chief's door, Derek visited the mayor then got back into his rental car. He was heading back to the hotel when his mind and memory took him a different way.

Soon he reached what once was his land. When he left Seattle all those months ago, he left behind a clear land with just an empty trailer. When he pulled up the dirt drive he found a large house. One that he once wanted with Meredith. He got out and walked around the property to view the lake. He remembered when he would fish with Meredith in that lake. Now it was not his anymore.

"I guess it was for the best." He said taking one last look around and headed back to his car. When he got back behind the wheel he took one last look back at the house that now stood overlooking the lake and saw a mini van parked just outside.

This saddened Derek because this was what he had envisioned for him and Meredith. The large house, minivan and from the looks of the empty toy boxes left near the trash, a family.

"At least a family can appreciate this land." Derek started the car and took off down the road.

From inside the house Meredith watched Derek walk around the front of the property then head back to the car. She was glad that he didn't come to the door. She didn't know how she would have handled things. She needed time to think of how to tell Derek that he was a father.

She watched as he got back in the car and took one more look at the house before heading back the way he came.

"I wish I parked my car in the garage." She said before turning to take care of Emma.


	7. Chapter 7

The next day Meredith woke up to Emma crying in the nursery. Meredith got out of bed and headed to the next room over to feed and change Emma for the day. As she rocks Emma in the chair she looks at her daughter and sees so much of Derek in her. Derek's bright blue eyes watched her while she ate. When Emma started to smile, she can see the McDreamy smile shine through.

After seeing Derek yesterday, she knew that it was just a matter of time before he found out about Emma. Meredith knew she had to tell him about his daughter before he left again to wherever he was prior to coming back to Seattle for this case.

When Richard told her that he had found Derek and that he was being him back for a case, she had sat with Emma and just cried.

"I hope Em that you will be able to meet your daddy before he leaves again. And if he doesn't want anything to do with you then that's he's lost but you will know about him and he you." She said to her baby and kissed her forehead gently.

Across town at the hospital, Derek made his way to the locker room to change. Inside he found Mark there changing into his clothes.

"I don't want to fight Mark." Derek said walking past him to an empty locker.

"I think that you need a good ass kicking, but I will refrain from doing it."

"Thank you"

"I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for Meredith. She has enough stuff on her plate."

Derek had fear in his eyes thinking that something happened to Meredith. "Did something happen to Meredith?"

"You'll find out soon enough." Was all Mark said before he left the room.

Derek watched him leave. 'What did that mean?' he thought. Derek knew that Seattle Grace was a big place but he would eventually run into Meredith so decided to handle that road when it comes to it. He changed into his jacket and scrubs then headed out to his patient.


	8. Chapter 8

Derek went through the day with finding out what was wrong with the patient and scheduling the surgery for the next day. With any luck he will be back in New York within and few days and away from Seattle and his past.

Throughout the day, Derek was expecting to run into Meredith but never did. This didn't surprise him. Meredith has habit to stay away from him. After she found out he was her boss, she hide, she did it again when Addison came to town, and when their latest situation came about.

After Derek changed from his scrubs he headed to the doors of the hospital. Before he exited the doors, he heard someone call his name. He turned to see Rose standing close by with a smile on her face.

"Derek, your back" she said as she gave him a friendly hug. "It's good to see you again."

As they were hugging he noticed that, Mark, George, Izzie, Alex, and Christina were heading to the doors shaking their heads as they watched the two. Derek swore he heard Christina say 'figures McAss would be back with the whore.' While leaving the building.

"You too, but I'm only here for a consult and then leaving again."

"Why did you leave Derek?"

Derek sighed and rubbed a hand thru his hair. "It's complicated."

"Does it have anything to do with Meredith Grey?"

"Mostly, yes."

"Derek you really need to talk with Meredith."

"Why?"

"Just…trust me." Rose said before looking at the door seeing a man waving at her. Derek noticed.

"Who is that?"

"I got back with my ex-boyfriend after you left. It was good seeing you again Derek." Rose said squeezing his arm once before leaving him standing there.


	9. Chapter 9

As Derek starts to his hotel, he finds that the rental car didn't go where he had started it to go. Instead it headed down a road that lead to the one person that he hasn't seen since he had been back in Seattle.

When he pulled up the familiar driveway he did notice that Meredith's car was not parked in the driveway but he still turned the engine off and climbed out of the car. As he headed up the drive he stood for a few moments in front of the front door with his hand up to knock but paused a moment to get the courage. Derek didn't know why he was there; he just needed to see her face again. He finally knocked and a few minutes later the door opened to reveal Izzie standing there.

"Dr. Stevens." Derek said nervously.

Izzie didn't say a word just starred Derek down thru slatted eyes.

Gulped he started again. "I…I was…I was wondering if Meredith was home to talk to her?"

"Why? You left her. You took off without a word. Without a number to be reached at."

"I didn't want anyone to know where I was."

"Well you too late. Meredith doesn't live here anymore. Alex, George and I are the only ones here now." Izzie said ready to close the door in his face.

Derek put his hand in the way to block her from closing it. "Did she leave Seattle? I didn't see her at work today. Where…Where is she?"

Izzie took a big breath. She knew that Derek should know about Emma and that he will eventually find out and has to talk to Meredith so told Derek where Meredith would be.

"Meredith never left Seattle, just the house. Meredith moved out just a little over a month ago. She needed her own space."

"Where does she live now?"

"I can't tell you that. It's not my place to tell you. Especially if she doesn't want you to know." Izzie saw the sadness in his eyes. She took some mercy one the guy. "Try Joe's bar. Meredith and Christina are probably there."

Derek gave her a thankful smile then turned to leave. Izzie watched as he got back in his car and took off down the driveway.

"God I hope I did the right thing." She said closing the door to the house.


	10. Chapter 10

Derek parked in the familiar parking lot leading to Joe's bar and headed inside. On his way he noticed that Meredith's car wasn't in the parking lot. Derek was a little disappointed that he had missed out on seeing Meredith but in a way he thought that maybe just maybe it was for the best.

"I might as well have a drink since I'm here. The bell above the door rang as he entered the bar. He headed to the bar and noticed Joe standing there. Joe glanced at Derek.

"Well…well…well…look what the cat dragged in." Joe shock Derek's hand. Then Derek to the bar stool in front of Joe. "The usual there Doc?"

"Sure Joe Thanks."

"It's been awhile."

"Ya moved away."

Joe nodded his head. "That's what Meredith told me."

Derek looked up when Joe said her name. "Have you by chance seen her lately?"

"Sure have. I see her right now. She's seating over there with Christina." Joe said cocking his head to the back table where both the girls sat.

Derek turned around in his seat and looked where Joe looked and saw Meredith and Christina talking and smiling in the back table. 'God she is still as gorgeous as ever.' Derek thought.

Meredith could feel someone's eyes on her and looked around until she saw Derek their eyes met and held for a long while before Christina's hand started to wave in front of Meredith's face.

"Yo, you still there?"

Meredith broke her gaze with Derek to look at Christina. "Yes I'm still here. Derek's here."

Christina turned and noticed the surgeon and rolled her eyes as she saw lust in his eyes for Meredith.

"Same old McAss."

"I should talk to him right?"

"About?"

"Em. I mean he should know about his daughter right?"

"Only if you want him to know. I mean he left; he has no right to know if you don't want him to. I will protect Em if and when he leaves again."

Meredith listened to what her friend said and looked back at Derek. "He should at least know about her. If he wants to be a part of her life then that is up to him." Meredith got up and grabbed their empty glasses and headed to the bar where Derek sat.

When he noticed that she was approaching he put his drink down to talk to her.

"Derek."

"Meredith"

"So your back?"

"Just for a short time. I'm here for a case then leaving when it's done."

Meredith nodded her head slowly. Derek could see the sadness in her eyes. He could also tell that she was debating something in her head. "What is it?" he asked.

"We should talk."

Derek shook his head. "I don't think there is much to talk about."

"Where did you go?"

"It doesn't matter where I moved too. You didn't want me remember?"

"Derek it wasn't that I didn't want to be with you. I didn't know how to trust you and you were trying to go so fast with things…" Meredith wasn't able to finish because Derek looked with fire in his eyes at her.

"That's bullshit Meredith. You never wanted me. You were stringing me along for the ride."

Meredith had tears in her eyes as he said this to her. "That's not true Derek."

"It doesn't matter anymore Meredith, because when I'm done here I'm leaving and never coming back." He turned away from her and drank more of his drink.

"Derek please, we really need to talk."

"There's nothing left to say. It's over between us."

"But this you need to know Derek."

"I don't care." He grumbled back as he downed the rest of his scotch.

Meredith walked back to her table and grabbed her bag and pulled out a picture then wrote on the back. When she was done she walked back to Derek and laid the picture next to him on the bar then walked outside to her car to leave. Christina left with her mumbling something about 'Ass' under her breath.

Derek looked down at what Meredith left and saw that it was a picture of a baby. He flipped in over and on the back it read:

Emma Grace Sheppard. When you are ready to talk to me let me know.

Derek then turned the picture back over and looked at the baby closely then realization hit him like a ton of bricks. This was his child. His and Meredith's. Derek stood up fast and through some money of the bar then ran outside to catch Meredith before she left. When he got to the parking lot he noticed that Meredith wasn't driving away in her jeep but a van. Derek could swear he saw that van before, but where?

Derek thought about it for a second then it hit him. He remembered seeing it at his old property.


	11. Chapter 11

Derek stood outside the bar for what seemed like forever. He kept looking at the picture of his little girl. Derek never thought that he would have a child much less with Meredith. Everything that has come about is now running thru his mind.

Meredith

Emma

Meredith bought his old land

The house that Meredith built on his old land

Just thinking about how Meredith was before he left, he would never have guessed that she was the one that would do everything that he had pictured for them. Meredith made a family, but the only thing missing was him.

Derek knew that after how he had treated Meredith in the bar that he was on her 'shit list' and would need to do a lot of graveling to get back into her good graces. Now that Derek knew of Emma he had a lot to think about in the ways of his life. Less than a year ago he backed up and moved in hopes to never return. But now he had a reason, it's just getting to get Meredith to let him back in that will be his problem. He couldn't blame Meredith for any of this. He was the one to leave. He was the one to disconnect himself from everyone in Seattle so he couldn't be found.

Now he had to fix it.


	12. Chapter 12

The next morning Derek slowly walked into the hospital. He had little to no sleep at all last night. All he could think about was how he was going to make this up to Meredith and be able to spend some time with his daughter.

He walked into the locker room and changed. Originally he was going to head back to New York in a few days but not now. Now he was going to stay here in Seattle and win back his past and future. It's just the how part that was the question.

Derek worked with his patient but had set up an appointment with the Chief for later that afternoon about coming back so he would be closer to his new family. When he was heading to the elevators he smelled a flower…lavender he thought. He looked around the area and saw a glimpse of brownish blonde hair walking towards the chief's office. He turned and headed fast after Meredith. When he caught up to her he lightly touched her arm and she turned around not looking surprised that it was Derek who had stopped her.

"Derek"

Derek gave her a small smile. "Meredith"

Derek didn't say a word for a few seconds just stared at her with his McDreamy look. Meredith took it that he wasn't going to say anything else; he looked just like a statue. She figured that he was thinking as to what to say, but Meredith could stand there waiting for him forever so talked first.

"Look Derek I would love to stay and wait while you figure out what to say but I have a meeting with the chief to get to so…" She made a gesture towards the office as if to say she was heading there.

Derek nodded but said, "We'll talk after. Can I come by your house after my shift? I want to see her."

Meredith depended for a minute but agreed. She didn't want her daughter to go thru life without a father like she had for so long.

"Sure. I'll see you later." She said and walked away looking back at Derek just once and noticed that Derek's eyes were following her every move.


	13. Chapter 13

After his shift, Derek got into his rental car and headed the familiar way to his previous home. On his way he thought about his meeting with Richard. The chief was reluctant of giving Derek his old job back because Meredith is like the daughter he never had. But because of Emma, Richard agreed to allow Derek to come back into the hospital for more than a few days. Dr. Webber only had Derek come out so he would know about Emma. In a way he figured that Derek would want to stay after he found out about her. But there was another part of him that thought that he still wouldn't stay.

Meredith told Richard when she had come in earlier that day what had happened in the bar the previous night and that she had left a picture of Emma with him and that he wanted to come spend some time with her later that night.

As Derek pulled up into the driveway he got butterflies in his stomach because this will be the first time that he will get to see his daughter that wasn't in a picture. Granted he loved the picture that Meredith gave him and he was constantly looking at it when he had free time thru the day. This was different now he was able to hold and cuddle her. He can look at her in dental to see everything that was created from his and Meredith's love making.

Derek got out of the car and headed up to the door. Unlike the last time he had come out here he looked at the house in more detail. It was the same house that he had plans drawn up for him and Meredith before he had left. Meredith must have found them and built that house. As he reached the door he knocked and waited for it to open. After a few minutes and a couple of knocks Meredith opened the door and stepped aside for Derek to come in. He walked in and took in the details of the house just like the outside.

'It's exactly like I pictured it would be' he thought.

Meredith started to walk into the family room. On the floor on a play mat laid Emma looking up into the mirror that was strapped on the top. Meredith bent down and picked-up the tiny baby in her arms and walked back over to him. All he could do was stare and smile at the little baby, his daughter.

"Derek this is your daughter Emma Grace. Emma this is your daddy." Meredith gave a small smile to the man in front of her. She watched as he touched a finger to her hand and she grabbed it tight.

"You know you can hold her if you want." Meredith said.

Derek looked up at her then back at the baby and gently lifted the baby to his chest. He leaned down and smelled that baby's head and smiled. 'Baby shampoo' he then kisses her then headed over to the couch and sat with her on his lap.

"I'll let you have sometime alone with her for a bit. I'll be in the Kitchen if you need me." With that Meredith left father and daughter alone to bond.

Meredith started to do the dishes and clean up the Kitchen a little before Derek left and she had the baby again. What Meredith forgot was that she had the monitor still on in the kitchen and could hear what Derek had to say to his daughter. She knew that she shouldn't listen and that she should turn the monitor off but she just couldn't.

"You know I'm your daddy right? Ya, I'm so sorry that I haven't been around until now. I didn't know. It wasn't your mommy's fault that I didn't know it was all mine. I pushed her too much and I didn't wait. If I wouldn't have done those things, things might have been different for the three of us. I promise that I will never leave you or your mommy again. I love you and I love you mommy very much and want to be with both of you forever. I know that it's going to take time for her to forgive me and trust me again but I will do whatever it takes to win her back and to be a family, a real family just the three of us. I started my redemption today by getting my old job back at the same hospital that mommy works at. Within time I hope to have her trust and love back…God I love her so much."

Meredith could tell that Derek had tears falling down his checks when he talked and knew that everything he said was the truth. Thru the speech of Derek's, Meredith also found herself crying.


	14. Chapter 14

A few minutes later Meredith heard moving going on in the living room and quickly turned off the monitor and wiped her tears away before heading to the sink to start making a bottle. Just seconds later, Derek came into the Kitchen carrying a sleepy baby in his arms.

"I think this little girl is getting sleepy and ready for bed."

Meredith didn't trust her voice so just nodded. She finished the bottle then turned to face him hoping that her face didn't look terrible from crying earlier. Derek did see and a frown appeared on his face.

"What's wrong? You look like you were crying."

"It's nothing; I still get emotional over any little thing even after I gave birth to her. The doctor says it's normal."

"What made you cry?"

'Quick Meredith thinks of something fast.' She thought. "Um…um…When I was doing dishes I saw out the window that a baby bird fell from its nest and could get back up. But the mama bird found it."

Derek looked confused but let it slide on her hormones still being messed up. "Okay. Well, Can I help get her down tonight?"

"Sure. She's your daughter too. You don't have to ask."

"Just being polite."

They walked upstairs with the baby and the bottle. When they reached the nursery Meredith took out a nightgown for Emma and set the bottle down for later. Meredith watched as Derek changed the baby and then had Derek sit in the rocker to feed and rock her to sleep.

When the baby was asleep Derek slowly stood and placed the sleeping baby into the crib gently. Derek smiled at his daughter as she did the sucking motion as if she was still sucking on her bottle. He then walked out of the room with Meredith and closed the door.

"Well" Derek said as he placed his hands into his pockets.

"Well" Meredith repeated. Meredith then started down the stairs back to the living room.

"This is a nice house."

"Well, it was your blueprints."

"I thought you didn't like them."

"No I liked them I just didn't like the idea of building a house so soon together. But once I found out that you were selling your property and I was pregnant it kind of changed my mind. But it's all good."

"How is she at night?"

"Not bad but she gets up a couple of times but she only stays up long enough to eat and get her diaper changed."

"Well that's good."

"Yep"

They stood in silents for a few minutes trying to think of things to say to each other. Then Derek saw that Meredith looked tired.

"If you want I can stay on the couch and look after Emma tonight so you can get some sleep." Please say yes he thought to himself.

"That okay, you have work tomorrow."

"So do you. Why don't you work on the case with me?"

"I don't have work tomorrow. I'm still on maternity leave. That was what my meeting with the chief was about today. I don't go back for a couple of weeks still. So I sleep when she does and its all good." Meredith smiled. "Well thanks for coming Derek. I'm sure she loved spending time with you."

"So did I" Derek said walking slow to the front door not wanting to leave. He turned and looked at Meredith with his McDreamy smile wanting so bad to kiss her goodnight but knew it was still too soon.

"Goodnight Mer"

Meredith leaned her head against the door frame and gave him a sad smile. "Goodnight Derek.

Derek turned and headed to his car and looked back a couple of times on his way.

'Soon' he thought.


	15. Chapter 15

Derek walked into the hospital the next day with a skip in his step. He was on a high; a Meredith and Emma high. Derek changed into his scrubs and put on his doctor's coat and headed to the nurses' station to grab his patients chart. As he reached the desk, he grabbed that chart he glanced and caught sight of the clock over at the fall wall he noticed the time and smirked then went back to his task at hand.

"What are you smiling at?" Derek heard from behind him. Derek smiled again not letting the person get to him today. Hopefully he will have his foot back in the door when his plan starts and when it reaches the ears of Meredith's friends, he knew that they would lighten up a little. Derek turned and noticed both Mark and Christina standing there with their arms crossed over their chest glaring at him.

"I'm smiling because today…today is a very good day." He said to them grabbing his chart and turning fully around to look at them.

"What does that mean?" Christina asked.

Derek started to walk towards his patient's room and knew that the two would follow him. He was right. "It means that I was able to spend some time with my daughter last night until she fell to sleep and that I'm going to be able to see her again tonight." It also means that you two will be hearing from Meredith later today and you will see. Hopefully I will be back in Meredith's good graces before too long again."

Christina grabbed his arm. "Look you ass…"

"Now Dr. Yang I'm still your boss."

Mark smirked and said, "I didn't see her do anything."

Derek shook his head.

"Look you ass, I do not want to see Meredith hurt again by you. And I don't want to see that little girl hurt either. You coming back into their lives then leaving in a few days will just hurt them, so stay away." Christina threatened.

Derek removed her hand from his gently. "I know that I hurt Meredith deeply and if I could change time I would but I can't. So to start to make amends I talked to Dr. Webber and he gave back my old job and I'm getting an apartment this weekend." Then in his head he added, 'that's only until Mer lets me into the house.' Then he continued, "I know it won't be easy but I will make it up to Meredith and to Emma. Believe me you will hear from Meredith later today with my first phase of getting her back into my life." With that he turned and headed into his patients room.

"Well?" Mark asked

Christina looked at him "Now we what and see what he did. If it upsets Meredith, then McAss' ass is grass." She then turned and headed back the way they had come. Mark let out a smile laugh then headed off a different way.

From inside the patent's room, Derek heard every word they had said. He knew that what he plans to do will make thing start to a good side. It just had too.


	16. Chapter 16

Meredith was just finishing washing bottles when she heard the door bell ring. She rushed to the door before the person on the other side would ring the bell again. Meredith had just put Emma down for a mid morning nap and didn't want her to be woken up.

"Yes" Meredith asked as she saw a man holding a dozen long stemmed red roses.

"I have some delivers for you." The man said as he handed over the roses to her.

"Some?" she asked and all she got from the man was a slight nod of his head as he went back to where his truck was parked in the driveway. She watched as he opened the back hatch and withdrew several boxes of diapers from the back along with several containers of baby formula that were in bulk from a warehouse store. He brought these items in and Meredith thought that that was all but the man stopped her from closing the door.

"I'm not done yet." The man said as he went back to the truck and pulled out more boxes.

Meredith couldn't tell what was in these, but watched as he took box after box out and carried them into the house. When the man took the last of the boxes out of the truck and closed the hatch before coming back to the house to drop these ones off. Before he left he handed Meredith a card the wished her a good day before leaving.

Meredith watched thru the window as the man drove away. Then turned toward the boxes and flowers. She then looked down and opened the card to read. This is what it said:

_My darling Meredith, _

_I know that since the day we met, I have been making bad chose after bad chose. I know that I have a lot to make up for and will spend the rest of my life making it up to you if I have too. I would much rather have you in my life in some shape or form then not at all._

My whole world changed the day that I found out that I'm now a dad. When holding her last night I knew that I couldn't leave her. Don't think that I'm only saying this because of Emma because it's not true. I love you very deeply. I want to be the man and father to you and to Emma that you and your mother never had with Thatcher. Please give me the chance to make it up to you.

_To start, I got my job back at Seattle Grace. This time, I'm not leaving unless it is with you and Emma. I would follow you to the moon and back if I have too. I'm also looking for a place to live this weekend. _

_Please don't ever doubt my love for you. _

_Love always _

_The McAss of your heart_

When she was done reading the note, she put it aside and pulled all the baby formula into the kitchen and stacked the boxes of diapers into the hall near the stairs so she could take them up later. Meredith then put the flowers up on the fireplace mantle and then went back to the other boxes that she didn't know of and looked into them.

The first box held a multi flavor of cheesecake and a gift card for a hundred dollars to Starbuck. There was a note that read:

_Dessert and coffee. I will always let you eat the last piece of cheesecake. _

She then opened the next box and food a much of her favorite junk food of cookies and pastries. The note in that box read:

_Never change who you are, even for a jerk like me._

The third box she opened to find a much of designer clothes and shoes that were exactly her size. The note read:

_You still have the sexiest body ever._

The last box she opened she found several smaller boxes. She opened the first small box and found a heart shaped gold locket. In another small box she found a silver bracelet that had a mother and her baby on it. The last small box she opened had a diamond necklace in it that by the looks was not very cheap. Meredith figured that it was several thousands of dollars worth of jewelry in that one box. She took the note from the box and it read:

_Until the day that you can no longer live on this Earth you will be showered with jewelry. _

Looking back at everything that Derek had gotten her, she could believe that he would do it. She could tell that he was trying. Meredith wiped that tears from her eyes and reached for the phone and dialed a familiar number.

"Christina you will not believe this…"


	17. Chapter 17

Christina had just gotten out of a surgery when she heard her cell ring in her pocket. She glanced at the name on the caller ID before she answered.

"This had better be good. I'm at work and every second talking to you is another minute that I don't get a surgery."

Meredith chuckled at her person. 'She never changes.' Meredith thought.

"Christina you will not believe this…" before Meredith could finish her sentence, Christina interrupted her.

"The question is do I care?" She said as she started to lean on the nurse's desk making notes in the chart from her surgery.

"A delivery person just left here."

"So what kind of suck-up gift did he send you? I bet flowers, it's the only thing guys know how to send when they screw-up. Then the flowers die within days and then there's known proof of the whole ordeal of flower giving."

Meredith was confused. "Well, he sent roses."

"Don't fall for flowers Meredith, he needs more then flowers to when back your trust and love."

"He also sent me cheesecake, a gift card to star bucks, designer clothes, all my favorite junk food, jewelry, and he also sent baby diapers and formula to last for months for Emma."

Down the hall Derek sees Christina talking on the phone to Meredith after she got her boxes and smiles without either of the two women know that he was there. Judging my Christina's reaction, she was also shocked at what he had done for Meredith. But that was only the start of his plan to win back the love of his life. He returned the chart he had in his hand before heading away from the shocked doctor.


	18. Chapter 18

Later that day Derek was getting ready to head out of the hospital and Christina stopped him.

"Look I don't know who you are trying to fool with messing with Meredith's emotions like this, but I swear to God that if you hurt either her or Emma, I will need a good lawyer to keep my ass out of prison because I murdered you."

Derek loved the fact that Meredith had a person like Christina watching out for her. The thing that he hated was that to get to Meredith, he had to get to Christina too.

"I swear on my father grave that I will not hurt Meredith or our daughter."

"What if Meredith doesn't want to get married to you? Granted she already has a house that you wanted built and she now drives a minivan, but what about her insecurities? You couldn't deal before why so sure now?"

"I realized that I would rather have her anyway she will let me, then to not have her in my life at all."

Christina watched thru slanted eyes at her reaction before nodding. She then pointed a finger right at Derek.

"One wrong move and your died." She then turned and was heading away from McDreamy when she heard him talk again.

"Are you off tonight?"

Without looking back she replied. "Yes."

"Can you babysit Emma?"

Christina turned to look at him. "No" then turned away and walked to the elevator shutting over her shoulder. "I don't babysit."

"Who will?"

Before the elevators doors closer he heard, "Lexie"

Derek looked confused. When he was last here, Meredith and Lexie didn't get along well. Derek took out his phone and dialed a familiar number to the place he had once spent so many nights at.

"Izzy?"


	19. Chapter 19

Derek had gone back to his hotel and took a fast shower and dressed in a black and white tux for the special evening out with Meredith. Grabbing his wallet he headed to his rental car and headed to a flower shop to get Meredith some new flowers.

Derek pulled up at the end of the dirt driveway to wait for the babysitter. He noticed another car pull up a few minutes later and got out of the car.

"Derek?" The dark haired women asked as she stood from her car.

"Lexie. Thanks for coming tonight and on such short notice."

Lexie looked at Derek thru silted eyes. "When Iz called me and told me that you were back in town and wanted to take out Meredith I couldn't help but feel nervous."

"About what?"

"You. You are back in the picture after so much hurt. I don't want me sister or niece to go through with the pain again."

Derek looks straight into Lexie's eyes "I promise I will never leave or hurt Meredith or Emma ever again."

Lexie watched him of a few seconds then nodded and walked toward the house.

Derek let out a sigh then turned and grabbed a long white box from the back sit of his car and then followed her to the front door. Taking a deep breath, Derek raised his hand and knocked on the front door and waited for it to open while Lexie hid out of sight.

A minute later Meredith opened the door with a crying baby in her arms.

"Derek" She said tiredly.

Derek had his mouth apart slightly and looked at the screaming baby in her arms then took a closer look at the woman holding his child. Meredith's hair was messy and she had a dish towel hanging over her shoulder.

"What's wrong with Emma?" Derek asked.

"Nothing, she has some gas built-up. When she gets it out, she'll be better." Then Meredith finally took in Derek's appearance. "Um… What is with the tux?"

Derek looked away from the crying child and then remembered about his plans for them tonight. "Oh…" he said looking down at his appearance. "I'm here to take you to dinner." He held up the flowers he was holding and showed them to her. "These are for you."

Meredith shifted the baby that was still fussing in her arms. "Thank you for the flowers…and for the other flowers…and for all the other stuff that you sent here for both me and Emma, but I don't think it would be a good night to go out."

"Why not?" Derek asked getting scared.

"While for several reasons." She said finally getting Emma to take a pacifier to quiet it down for the time being.

Derek leaned into the door frame and gave Meredith his McDreamy smirk. "And the reasons are?"

"Well for one. Look at you" she said looking him up and down. "You look great…handsome…perfect…and I look like I was hit by a tornado. Another reason is that I don't have anything that would be dressy enough to go with that tux. Another reason is Emma…I don't have anyone to watch her on such short notice. And with her gas problem I don't think anyone would want to watch her right now."

Derek watched her as she talked just smiling at how cute she was. "Are those all the reasons?"

"What do you all? They are good enough reasons."

Derek stood straight up again and took a couple steps forward towards her causing her to move back a couple steps so he wouldn't walk into her and Emma. She watched him place the flowers down on the foyer table then held up the white box his was carrying.

"This is the answer to your first reason" he then placed the box next to the flowers on the table and stepped towards her again to slowly take Emma out of her arms so she can look in the box.

Meredith watched him cuddle Emma to his chest before going to the box and lifting the lid. She gasped at the sight of an emerald green sparkly gown that was neatly placed inside. There was also a pair of strappy sandals that matched the gown.

"Oh...Derek"

The look on her face was all that Derek needed to know that he choose well. "And for the next reason there is enough time for you to get cleaned up. And for your last reason…" he looked down the bundle in her arms then to the door.

Lexie took that as her queue and entered the house smiling at her sister. "I will watch Emma…gas and all. You need a break Meredith…go have a good time."

Meredith looked back and forth between the two then grabbed the white box and flew up the stairs in a hurry.


End file.
